22 Worst Christmas Songs Plaguing Our Eardrums Every Year

This tearjerker tells the story of a boy trying to buy shoes for his dying mother. The lyrics go heavy on guilt and light on musical quality. Some listeners call it emotional manipulation wrapped in sleigh bells. Others just call it a skip.

A Beatle made this? Really? The synth loop sounds like a Casio keyboard got stuck. Paul McCartney might be a legend, but this track feels like holiday background noise—if the background is a haunted toy store.

A punk-style Christmas song with clashing energy. The message is peace, but the sound is chaos. Not everyone wants their eggnog with a side of ska.

An Italian Christmas donkey brays his way through this cartoonish track. While it has cultural charm, the sound effects and cartoon vocals make it more novelty than nostalgia.

It’s a favorite among city slickers with a tolerance for the absurd.

This version goes full baby-voice, turning a cheeky classic into a cringeworthy Christmas seduction. The lyrics list pricey gifts like sables and yachts, making it feel more like a holiday ransom note than a love letter to Santa.

Pa rum pum pum what? Even the best covers drag.

Despite its noble message, the plodding rhythm makes this song feel twice as long. The version by Joan Jett tries to rock it up, but not even distorted guitar can save this snoozer.

It’s a holiday protest song, and not a subtle one. While the intent is noble, the blend of children’s choirs and anti-war lyrics feels more preachy than peaceful. It’s not exactly joyful or triumphant.

Kids missing teeth: adorable. Songs about it? Less so.

Spike Jones’ version leans into goofy sound effects and exaggerated lisps, making it the sonic equivalent of fruitcake: funny for a second, regrettable after that.

Tween Bieber fans may love it, but the soft reggae-pop vibe doesn’t scream holiday classic. More flirty than festive, it’s like trying to hang ornaments during spring break. Not even a Christmas tree wants this on loop.

Intended as a charity single, this '80s anthem hasn’t aged well. With lyrics like "There won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas time," it turns well-meaning aid into lyrical condescension.

It's a case of good intentions, bad execution.

Dark comedy at its oddest. This track tells a story of a holiday hit-and-run with way too much cheer. For some, it’s a quirky classic. For others, it’s a tacky mess.

Boy band meets holiday jam in this awkward, dated attempt at seasonal funk. With lines like "Have a funky, funky Christmas," it tries too hard to be cool and ends up sounding like a mall Santa's mixtape.

Cute voice, weird wish. This novelty hit from the 1950s features a kid insisting only a hippo will do. It’s quirky, but the tinny delivery and repetitive chorus wear thin fast.

Yes, it’s on the list twice. Duff’s cover of McCartney's misfire adds teen pop vocals but keeps the same clunky synths. Somehow, it manages to be both more robotic and more saccharine.

High-pitched rodents begging for presents. It might charm toddlers, but after one listen, most adults are reaching for the mute button. It’s musical helium with a side of sugar crash.

The original by Donny Hathaway is a soulful staple. But Brown’s version feels like a karaoke copy. It misses the warmth and lands in glossy overproduction territory.

Wham!'s emotional ballad gets turned into an EDM nightmare by a cartoon amphibian. This version adds bleeps, boings, and chaos where there should be longing and synth-pop.

Yes, this is real. Recorded in the '80s, this song tries to be topical but ends up being offensive and bizarre. Not even irony can redeem it.

Armstrong's voice is legendary, but this track stumbles with odd phrasing and spooky sound effects. It's more Halloween than holiday.

An early Gaga attempt that blends electronic pop with risqué lyrics and Christmas innuendo. It's weirdly sexual for a season known for sweaters and cookies.

Overly sentimental to the point of syrupy, the song tries for global unity but lands in vague platitudes and overused harmonies.

This one is definitely a hot take. The premise: a kid catches Mom smooching Santa (spoiler: it's probably Dad).

The idea confused generations of children and made more than a few adults cringe. The Jackson 5's version is catchy, sure, but the concept is just kinda weird.

We created this article in conjunction with AI technology, then made sure it was fact-checked and edited by a HowStuffWorks editor.