"Sunny Day/Sweepin' the clouds away/On my way to where a vampire is going to feast on my innocent young blood before moving on to his next nubile victim." So go the lyrics to the "Sesame Street" theme song, although I guess I took some liberties with the third line. Long before Edward Cullen burst onto the scene in all his sparkly "Twilight" glory, our hearts were stolen by Count von Count, of "Sesame Street" fame. He's helped us count all those batty-bats and eased some of our fears over Creatures of the Night and other scary stuff.
Unfortunately for us paranoid few, it seems that everyone's favorite purple vampire could be far more sinister than his friendly demeanor would have us believe. After all, what the heck is a vampire doing in the land of Muppets and giant birds and grouches, anyway? The answer (according to some fan theorists, anyway) is simple, my friends – The Count feasts on the blood of young Sesame Street-goers, while enslaving the resident adults as his minions. It's the only thing that explains why you never see the same kids for more than a couple of episodes. Well, that and the fact that they're probably just actors who have to go to school and get older and stuff. My guess is that the makers of this beloved children's show are unlikely to ever cop to this idea being true, but in a world where Elmo (or his voice if you're being picky) can be unsuccessfully sued for sex crimes, I guess anything is possible.