Top 10 Mad Scientist Fails


Herman von Klempt

Yep, Nazi head in a jar ... Image courtesy Mike Mignola/Darkhorse Comics
Yep, Nazi head in a jar ... Image courtesy Mike Mignola/Darkhorse Comics

Sure, mad science is a worthy calling, but it helps to have other things in your life. Dr. Victor Fries ("Batman") had his cryogenically frozen wife, Dr. Anton Phibes ("The Abominable Dr. Phibes") had the pipe organ and professor Herman von Klempt had ... well, nothing.

Motivated by scientific zeal and an intense desire to conquer the world, von Klempt made crucial contributions to several top-secret projects during World War II, including the Nazi space program and various German doomsday schemes. When a rocket mishap incinerated his body, he labored on with grim determination. When his closest colleague Karl Ruprecht Kroenen perished, he moved to South America to continue his studies in solitude.

Yet eventually, loneliness and despair caught up with Herman von Klempt. He found himself in quite a state: reduced to a head in a jar, feeding on pilfered spinal fluid from native women and surrounded only by cybernetic gorilla parts and failed plans for world domination. Confronted with the emptiness of his un-life, the once coldly logical von Klempt abandoned his plans to rule the world and set out instead to destroy it.

The lesson: You're a mad scientist. No one expects you to have a balanced life and a nuclear family (unless it's a literal nuclear family). Still, facts are facts: Very few world domination attempts succeed, and cheating death takes a real toll on the body and mind. So keep yourself grounded. At least take up golf or something.

Further study: Explore the beautiful, pulptastic world of Mike Mignola's "Hellboy" comics.