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Dr. Seth Brundle

Don't drink and teleport.

Marie-Noelle Robert/LA Opera

Teleportation pioneer Seth Brundle serves as a timeless example of how mad science simply doesn't mix well with romantic drama and hard drinking. By 1986, Brundle was well on the road to scientific glory. Thanks to funding from Bartok Science Industries, he successfully developed and tested the world's first teleportation system -- only it didn't work on living cargo.

Seriously, there were inside-out baboons everywhere.

Given enough time, we think Brundle would have worked out the nasty kinks in his telepod programming, but that's when beautiful journalist Veronica Quaife entered his life. At first the passion inspired him, leading to new research breakthroughs in organic teleportation. Then a little misunderstanding over Quaife's ex-lover fueled an all-night pity party of booze, programming and accidental gene-splicing.

I think you know how things ended up.

The lesson: Nothing beats a deep penetrating dive into the plasma pool. We'd all love to annihilate and reconstitute our bodies, but mads, don't do it because some romantic interest made you feel funny. Take your time, refine your research and, if you must drink and experiment, use a baboon.

Further study: So long as your tolerance for bodily horror runs high, dive into David Cronenberg's "The Fly."

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