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Dr. Frank-N-Furter

In this awkward moment from mad science history, Brad, Janet, Frank-N-Furter and Rocky Horror all take a moment to think about what they've done.

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At some point, visitors from the Transylvanian Galaxy had a clear scientific mission on planet Earth. Along with his alien cohorts, Magenta and Riff Raff, the good Dr. Frank-N-Furter surely intended to cure disease, prolong human life or aid us in our exploration of the stars.

But sadly we'll never know, because at some point Frank-N-Furter switched gears and devoted the entire endeavor to the pursuit of orgiastic excess. Specifically, he used two planets' worth of science to create a perfect humanoid sex buddy named Rocky Horror.

The mission ultimately ended in disaster (and a lavish musical number or two) when Riff Raff and Magenta blasted Frank-N-Furter with an antimatter weapon and returned the castle/starship to their home planet.

The lesson: You'd don't need to abstain from sex to succeed in the mad sciences, but overindulgence is a road to disaster. At best, sex serves as a moderate distraction, but at worst triggers a full-blown descent into space-age hedonism. Just consider Doctor Durand Durand ("Barbarella"): Despite inventing the deadly Positronic Ray, he's remembered best for his orgasm-inducing Excessive Machine. So think of your reputation!

Further study: If your nearest apocryphal library is missing a copy of "The Denton Affair," then rent "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" instead.

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