|
6
Dr. Kurt Leopold

Just a little home-brew mutagen ...

Image courtesy ZAATmovie.com

Dr. Kurt Leopold had a dream -- a dream to conquer the universe and, also, to turn himself into a giant catfish. Don't judge! In the mad scientific world, these constitute solid research goals.

A consummate biochemist and methodical planner, Leopold was well-suited to achieve his deranged objective. From the crushing solitude of his North Florida laboratory, he planned to release a highly mutagenic chemical called Zaat into the ocean, enabling all sea life to rise up and decimate the surface world. Who would lead this watery legion? Why a fully mutated Leopold, of course!

From there, the plan bloated somewhat. First, Leopold tacked on a side project to create a mutant companion from a kidnapped beach babe. Next, a few calculated revenge murders entered the picture, further clogging an already backed-up research pipeline.

In the end, Leopold successfully introduced Zaat into the ocean -- but only barely. All that kidnapping and murder attracted the attention of local law enforcement, and his premature transformation into a walking catfish proved something of a disadvantage in ducking the fuzz.

Leopold finally stumbled into the ocean, wounded by police gunfire and without a true she-monster to call his bride.

The lesson: Look mads, learn from Leopold's example and don't overcomplicate your plans for domination. Seeking revenge on your friends? Great, that's totally legit for mad scientific research, but it really needs to be a separate study. Don't just heap it in with your main scheme to mutate all sea life and conquer the universe. In addition, if you must turn yourself into a giant catfish, make sure you get the timing right.

Further study: The 1971 cult film "Zaat" is well worth your time if you enjoy oddly haunting B-movies of decades past. You may also know the film as "The Blood Waters of Dr. Z," as it was featured on "Mystery Science Theater 3000."

|