|
7
Dr. Moreau

Splendid isolation

Getty Images

Physiologist Dr. Moreau kicked off his mad science career in classic style. Not content to merely dissect dead animals and sew them back together anymore, he fell head over heels in love with live experimental surgery.

Granted, vivisection was quite in keeping with the morals of Herophilus, the fourth century B.C. father of anatomy, but it proved too radical for modern medical research. So Moreau did what any determined mad scientist would have done: He packed up his lab equipment and set up shop on a secluded island.

We all know isolation begets weirdness. Your housemate goes out of town for a weekend and by Saturday afternoon, you're eating pizza naked during a "Gilmore Girls" viewing binge.

However, when mad scientists go weird, they go all out.

Back on his tropical island, it wasn't long before Moreau took to prancing about in mime makeup and a muumuu. He declared himself god-king of all his twisted human/animal hybrids, and as if this weren't weird enough, he also went ahead and made a miniature version of himself -- which he ALSO dressed like a clown pope.

Because that's what you do, right?

Needless to say, the good doctor never published his final study, and monsters ate him.

The lesson: Look, a grotesquely swollen ego is only natural for a mad scientist. But by all means, please resist the urge to set yourself up as a living god amongst your mutated creations. Also, keep the costuming to a minimum.

Further study: For maximum effect, read "The Island of Doctor Moreau" by H.G. Wells. Failing that, enjoy the cheesy goodness of the 1996 film adaptation starring Marlon Brando.

|