'X-Men' (In All its Forms)

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'X-Men' (In All its Forms)

You wanna dance?

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Ah, to be Homo superior. How grand it is! Your father and mother were both simpletons. Homo sapiens to the core, content to live their lives without ever lighting something on fire with their brains or walking away from a little scuffle with a freight train unharmed. You're humanity's next evolutionary leap!

Problem is, evolution doesn't work that way. First off, there's no goal to evolution apart from survival. We're not climbing a ladder to perfection. We're just trying to graduate from the school of hard knocks, same as the mosquito you just slapped and the lioness that just ripped your arm off.

That's not the only problem: Evolution's changes happen in tiny increments. Yet, the mutants in "X-Men" all of a sudden have totally awesome superpowers and can do things like stop, blow up or derail speeding trains with a single gesture ... or, failing that, telepathically force the conductor to stop the thing. Again, not scientific, let alone realistic. Not even a little.

But if you somehow are a valid case of X-style evolution, and have Cyclops's laser vision, the guys in the next flick could really use your help.

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